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The Red Dress

THE RED DRESS I have now lost 85 pounds and I just love Bakespace.com The red dress, the red dress was kind of a coming out for me on many levels. I was opening up to the me inside of my mind, heart and body. Last Saturday night I had worn something that was out of creature for me. Being a woman that dresses only in black, I made a bold statement that I like me again. Red was a color that I would never even consider to wear or even to buy. But a few weeks ago I bought two red outfits and never really thought that I would really wear them but alas I did grace my body with them both out in public. I think the statement from wearing the red was that it was closer from my recent past and saying to the world I'm sexy, beautiful and open to life. I would joke round and say that my life was in mourning and black was my color. My life is not in mourning and I'm alive and discovering the sexy lady that lay so dormant for so many years. The red was not only that I had closer and that it was an expression that I want to attract a wonderful sexy, bright, handsome man into my life and that I was ok with me. So Saturday on many levels was my coming out to me on and to others that I like me again and that I wish to open to myself up to others. As I walked around my club and saw friends in my red dress it was nice on how many noticed that I had on color and as I was told by a friend that a few men were drooling over my red dress. I it felt good to that men were looking and liked what they saw, it was a long time coming. This is not the ego talking but it's from the core part of whom we are and that we all have the need to feel sexy and wanted. For so many years I was not really a wall flower but did not really flirt or was not open to men flirting with me. My past lover was the one that flirted with everyone as I sat back and watched and was hurting inside. I really don't that was healthy for me and I know that it took away some aspects of my sexual being and self worth. It made me feel undesirable and unwanted but most of all unloved. He would just say that he was just being himself and he forgot that there was two people in the relationship and never stopped until I felt no self worth sexually. But that is my past and now I can say that I like me again. Losing weight has helped a lot to feel good about me and having men flirt with me again has been a huge eye opener as to the possibilities of my sexuality or that someone would want me. My last relationship hurt my sexuality greatly and how I looked at me. With hindsight and closer I realized that I'm once again a very sexual being and am enjoying the act of flirting again. A week ago I sent a closer letter to my ex lover and it felt good to let it all go and so in my celebration I wore the red dress to mark a new beginning. I have learned so many lessons about me these last few months and I learned that we as human should never let anyone take your sexuality away from you. Sexuality is a state of mind it's an expression of the primal core in each and every one of us. The red dress will be remembered in my mind for years to come and what it represented to knowing me again. Walk in peace, love, joy and the joy and don't forget to wear a red dress sometimes.