The Gloomers



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Los Angeles, CA
Valley Vill, CA
Piscataway, NJ
Ionia, MI
Monessen, PA
Beverly Hil, CA
Alexandria, VA
Los Angeles, CA


Date: 12/08/09 10:55 AM
I was eight months pregnant visiting some friends in Sydney, Australia. They had gone away for the weekend. I searched around for a big pot and could only find a pressure cooker. For some reason I decided just to rest the lid on the top of the pot. Probably trying to save time! Naturally the lid sealed and I tried to remove it. What a blast! All over the ceiling, the stove, the counters, the floor. I steam burned my fingers and the skin on my protruding belly. For first aid my hands were submerged in ice water for a very long time.It was hard to get some relief for my belly at the same time. We ran out of ice very early. My husband introduced himself to the neighbors who brought over more ice cubes. Needless to say did we eat. Who knows. All I can remember was that for a week I could not wear my wedding ring. It was indeed gloomy.
Date: 12/07/09 03:15 PM
I've been baking for quite a while now and have been pretty lucky to avoid any major disasters until recently. A good friend of mine just had a baby and I was going to be visiting the family and wanted to bring along a treat. I decided I was going to make a chai cake with a honey ginger cream. So I am going about making the cake, modifying the recipe for 6" pans la la la. I have my pans prepped - greased and lined with parchment paper and on my scale to measure out the batter equally. I measure out 12oz of batter in each pan (per my past experience with another batter) and then put them in the oven, set the timer for 35 mins and then focus on other things. About 25 mins later, I smell the cake but not in a good way. I smell burning. So I go into the kitchen, open the oven door and discover that the cake has overflowed out of the pans and onto the grates and bottom of our oven. It's an electric oven too so the heating element is also on the bottom. The cake doesn't look pretty. But I press on and just slide a cookie sheet underneath the cake and let it finish baking. Meanwhile my kitchen is filling with smoke but I just pretend it doesn't exist. La la la The timer goes off, the cake is done and I take it out of the oven. It's a mess! Just the ugliest thing you've seen. Not salvageable. Taste good though! While I am dumping the ugly cake remains into the sink, I notice a flickering light coming from my oven. I open the oven door and FIRE!! My grates were on fire, the heating element was on fire. What do I do?? We don't have a fire extinguisher (christmas present, anyone?) and my mind starts running- "if i open the door, the oxygen will fuel the flames. if I close the door, will my oven explode??" what?? then I remember! i grab the can of baking soda on my counter, open the oven and throw a few handfuls onto the flames. Fire is out! Whew! Only charred cake remains. It was quite the experience. A first for me! My kitchen was a total mess after that. Cake bits in the sink, towels on the floor (knocked off the counter in my mad dash for baking soda), smoked filling the air. Good times. Here I am trying to do something nice for someone and it turns into a disaster. All in all, everything turned out fine. I got up early the next morning and started again, this time only putting 10 oz of batter in each pan. The batter had a different consistency than my other recipes and so I needed to use less batter to still yield a sizable cake. The cake turned out lovely and my friend and her family were so thankful. And laughing at my escapades.
Date: 12/04/09 03:30 PM
In reference to my post about my kitchen disaster... I'm afraid I failed to emphasize the best past... All the while boiling hot asparagus soup is flying around my kitchen, I am standing there in MY UNDERWEAR!!!!!
Date: 12/03/09 07:10 AM
Luckily I haven't had that many kitchen disasters, only a bunch of failed dishes! Back in college, though, I had one disaster that ended up being rather embarrassing, but not for me! I had met a new guy and invited him to my house for a fancy dinner. I wanted to make something impressive, so I found a recipe online. Sadly, many of the ingredients and techniques were things I didn't have much experience with! Add that to the fact that I was really nervous about the dinner and it was a mess just waiting to happen. I had to crush green peppersorns (not knowing a mortar and pestle or even a coffee grinder would be good to have) so I just whacked a handful with a frying pan on my countertop, leaving a bunch of dings and scratches in the formica. These I put into a saucepan to "brown" not knowing to do this quickly and on low heat. I left them there while I started prepping the meat, and within 5 minutes they were scorched and stinking up the whole apartment. I opened all the windows to air it out, cracked more peppercorns and started again. Once the pork was in the oven and the veggies made, I started on the cream sauce. I had never made a roux, so I mistakenly added flour to the cream and had to toss the entire lumpy mess down the drain. I started again and did it correctly, but then I looked up and saw that I had only 30 minutes until he arrived. I was not dressed and still hadn't put on my makeup! Leaving the sauce on low, I went and started putting my face on, only to be interrupted by a smell even worse than burnt peppercorns. The sauce had boiled over and was burning all over the stove and inside the burners! The smell of burning cream and garlic was absolutely repulsive. I had to quickly scrub it all down and left the second sauce off the heat to sit. Then I lit a flowery candle, hoping it would cover the stink (as if!). I threw on some clothes just in time for him to show up and eat this mess. Yes, I actually served the boiled sauce. Yes, he actually ate it. The clincher? He was lactose intolerant. So yeah, he spent about half of our dinner in my bathroom. That was our last date.
Date: 12/02/09 08:02 PM
I had a dinner party and put the lasagna in the oven, turned it on and set the timer. We started a poker game so I didn't pay much attention until the timer went off. Turns out, the pilot light went out on the stove and the lasagna was still half frozen. Oops! We then ordered pizza.
Date: 12/02/09 07:48 PM
My story really isn't about cooking but more the aftermath. A few years ago I made about 20 dozen cookies for a party. Everything went great - cookies came out perfect. So I went to get ready and wore all black. What I didn't realize was that our white counter was full of flour (my son had moved my cutting board and flour was everywhere. Well, I leaned up against the counter and discovered a line of white across my chest. So I grabbed the towel to wipe off and that was full of flour. Let's just say everything I grabbed made the situation worse. It was like living in the twilight zone - I just couldn't get it off and I kept getting more on me! Sad part was it was an awesome outfit I had never wore and bought it for that party. AARRRG!
Date: 12/02/09 04:01 PM
Gosh, there are so many. I decided to cook eggplant one night and the recipe called for chopping the eggplant up into thin slices, coating them with oil spray and then putting them in the broiler for 10 minutes, turning over once (midpoint). Well, the first batch I burned. Luckily I bought 4 eggplants - so I tried again. Burned those. Then I adjusted the temperature and turned them over earlier ... but on the second half I burned those. This went on for 4 batches. Until I realized on the 4th batch that they weren't burned.. just browned and they tasted awesome. LOL Oops. Someone should have added that to the recipe. Would have been great to know!
Date: 12/02/09 03:55 PM
How fun! My worst kitchen story happened at Easter - I was only 8 and I was boiling eggs while my dad was at work. I must have put in about 4 dozen eggs - every one we had in the fridge. Well, my aunt lived next door and she called me over to go eat. I was 8 so my priorities were on eating. So I went over there for about an hour... let's just say the eggs were not only done, but they were black. House smelled for weeks. The worst part about it was my dad discovered them when he got home. Oops!
Date: 12/02/09 02:58 PM
One night, I decided to make a gourmet vegan dinner for me an my boyfriend. On the menu was "cream" of asparagus soup and quinoa polenta with sun-dried tomato pesto. Everything was going so smoothly. For the first time in my life, I was able to make two dishes at once without any trouble--one dish would be ready to simmer at the same time the other dish needed stirring. I was so proud of myself, yet so suspicious, that everything was going so well! The polenta was cooking on the stove, and the soup was ready for the blender. Not knowing too much about physics, I filled my blender to the top with hot soup and and pressed "BLEND". 2 seconds later, my kitchen and I were both COVERED with BOILING hot pea-green soup! With the kitchen looking like a scene straight out of The Exorcist, I stripped down to my underwear and proceeded to blend my hot soup in 1/2 cup increments. I was crying in pain (did I mention the soup was H-O-T? Because it was!) and frustration (dinner had been going so well!), when even more soup blasted all over me! I finally gave up and we ordered a pizza.
Date: 12/02/09 06:33 AM
I spent 3 days in February several years ago in rural MA totally without power during a Nor'easter and with house guests. Fortunately what could have been a cooking disaster was salvaged by my Franklin Stove which is a wood stove primarily used for heating. We made pasta, soups, spiced cider, pancakes etc and spent hours around that stove playing board games, keeping warm and talking. It made me so thankful that I live in modern times but also that I could still be resourceful and a good hostess.
Date: 12/01/09 08:03 PM
My husband, Pete, and I were young and on a budget (ok--so now we're old and on a budget. Some things don't change). One of his favorite things to eat was potato casserole. This was pretty easy--there must be a hundred variations out there. Mine was a basic recipe, but it did use butter, cream and parmesan cheese, which is all kind of spendy on a ramen noodle budget. At any rate, we were celebrating some sort of significant anniversary, so I thought I would splurge on a few ingredients. It all came together so well, my beautiful casserole--I was very excited to be sharing this surprise with Pete. All it needed was a few shakes of pepper. And then, in mid-shake, the cover on the pepper shaker came off and the entire thing emptied into the dish. I tried to scrape it out. I did. But the casserole turned grey from all of the pepper. I couldn't bring myself to throw it all away, so I simply renamed it Cajun Potato Casserole and proudly served it to Pete. He managed two helpings. And I had myself convinced that the tears in his eyes were because of our special day. ;)
Date: 12/01/09 07:37 PM
my kitchen nightmare was on thankgiving night I thout i would be nice and make my son in law a pumpkin pie had it all done and baked and relised i forgot to put the sugar in it what a terreiable tasting pie that was so had to start all over. and then I made rye bread one day and did not put in enough yeast or to much flour and had bread bricks when i was done.
Date: 12/01/09 07:16 PM
I placed the easter roast in the oven, thermometer inserted and all. Everything was under control and I was feeling good. Hm...should've been my first clue....when are holiday meals every under control for long? All of a sudden I hear this awful "POP" from the oven. Whaaaaat was that?? Um...let me start by saying...if the thermometer instructions say "Do NOT put in dishwasher", apparently there's a reason. If you do...the next time you use it, the extreme oven heat will cause it to explode, and tiny microscopic pieces of thermometer glass will be embedded in your Prime Rib, causing you to make an unwanted trip to the grocery store and possibly paying twice as much for your roast as you did because it is no longer on sale. ARGH!!!
Date: 12/01/09 07:15 PM
The same Easter that I had my exploding glass in my Twice Baked Potatoes happen, well....I had bought 2 smaller roasts on Friday from the store. Sunday rolls around and I pull them out of the fridge to get ready to smother them in all those yummy seasonings. Only something wasn't, the trash had been taken out....the dog was outside and the cat had not died. Oh GOD one of the roasts was rancid!!! WTF!!!!! Oh hell no! I'm not eating this! Figuratively or literally. Nope...didn't save my receipt, but the store label was still on the nasty thing. So...Dennis and I marched into that store and found the store manager behind the customer service counter....on his cellphone...making a personal call. Ignoring us and our bag full of nasty smelling meat. He didn't even look at us and say..."I'll be with you in just a minute." Ya, I's a holiday and you have to work but hey! It's your job, you signed up for it and you get paid so GET OFF YOUR PHONE I HAVE A DINNER TO COOK AND COMPANY COMING!! (clears her throat). Ya, I guess that still pisses me off. After a few stern words and ignoring the fact that he really did not want to take the meat back.....I got my replacement roast and headed home with only a few minor detours (back into line with a pound of bacon for the Twice Baked Potatoes).
Date: 12/01/09 07:14 PM
Stressing over Twice Baked Potatoes....this might give you some insight on my determination and love for them. One year I was getting ready to make my taters and I had to run to the store to exchange my rib roast (thats a story for another time). I asked my then 17 yr old daughter to finish frying the bacon for me while I was gone. Well, while I was at the store, on my way out the door (those irritating doors that blow so much air to keep the flies from getting in that you end up with pillow head instantly) cell phone rang: "Mom....are you still at the store?" "I'm just leaving, why?" "Well, I kinda burnt the bacon. Can you get some more?" You've got to be kidding me! Back in line I went with another pound of bacon. Then back through the tornado door and headed home. Fried up the bacon and had it off to the side while I whipped up the potatoes in a mega bowl. Dennis decided that it was a good time to empty the dishwasher. I didn't think so, but when someone's helping in the kitchen you learn to keep your mouth shut and deal with it. As he was putting the glasses away in the cupboard off to my left, a glass literally exploded in his hand! WTF? Who does that ever happen to?! He wasn't hurt but my whipped potatoes were in critical condition. Shards of glass all over the place. (the bacon was around the corner, safe and sound...whew)...but after several stunned seconds, it was obvious that the potatoes were not going to survive. Back to the store and the dreaded wind maker door (by now my hair is a total lost cause!) buy more potatoes...and back to square one. Needless to say, the Twice Baked Potatoes eventually made it to the table and dinner was served. Way Late but way yummy
Date: 12/01/09 11:00 AM
Years ago I decided to make potato rolls from a recipe I found in a cookbook. Everything went fine in the mixing-not at all complicated. The instructions said to put the dough in a container with a lid & put it in the fridge over night. I was so proud of myself it smelled so good even unbaked, couldn't wait for the next day to make rolls. A few hours later I went to fridge to get something to drink. When I opened the fridge door I didn't know what to do - laugh or cry. You see the dough had blown the lid off the large container & exploded in every direction..the door, back, up thru the non-glass shelves & was dripping like stalagtites from them, and the door shelves. Then I decided how to react....I started laughing like a blooming fool. Worst thing is I had just cleaned the fridge that morning & here I was going to have to repeat it-only worse.
Date: 12/01/09 10:45 AM
This story thankfully isn't about my kitchen disaster but it happened to my brother. He was at my parents' place and had been "bachin'" it for several weeks so the place needed a bit of tidying before my parents arrived. While doing the dishes, he decided to warm up some bacon grease that had solidified in the pan so he could pour it into a can to throw away. He turned his back on the frying pan and realized his mistake when the fire alarms went off. The kitchen was filling with black smoke, there was a bon fire on the stove, the wallpaper was darkening and peeling off behind the stove and the nearby cabinets had begun to singe. In a panic, my brother tried to put a lid on the frying pan but couldn't find one that fit. He recklessly decided to grab the flaming frying pan and throw it outside. On his way to the back door, flaming bacon grease left singed spots on the linoleum and the indoor/outdoor carpeting. Just before he got to the door, a bit splattered on his hand which caused him to jump. This resulted in flaming bacon grease being spilled into a filled clothes basket in the laundry room which ignited. He finally got the back door open, threw the flaming frying pan outside and kicked the clothes basket out after it. In those few moments, my brother nearly demolished my parents' kitchen and back hallway AND he effectively burned all of his clean socks and underwear. He really needed those clean socks and underwear because he had to be taken to the hospital to be treated for burns to his hands and arms.
Date: 12/01/09 10:10 AM
And me as well! :)
Date: 12/01/09 05:42 AM
In 1990, I suddenly found myself living in the countryside of Japan due to my husband's job transfer. I could not speak or read Japanese. He was learning a new job which pretty much left me on my own. I remember going to the neighborhood grocery to get something for dinner. I picked up some potatoes and decided to fry them, so I picked up oil as well. After trying to get some color on the potatoes and failing, I turned it off and pitched it out. Apparently what looked like cooking oil turned out to be floor wax. I had also purchased a small styrofoam tray of onion rings. Only they were breaded, deep-fried squid. Happy to be back and cooking in the States again where I can read labels!
Date: 11/30/09 11:08 PM
Nothing too earth shaking. I had made an Angelfood cake to take to work. Surprisingly, it had risen above the rim of the pan. of course I was extremely excited about that. However, when I removed it from the oven and turned it upside down to cool, the whole cake fell out of the pan!!!! Never had that happen before, and have never had it happen since... I still have NO idea why or how that was even possible... LOL
Date: 11/30/09 04:45 PM
This summer we had our kitchen remodeled and it has been an exciting process. My first kitchen where as a chef I have been able to pick out the style, the range, fridge, sink etc! A dream... until I made my first stock a week or so ago! My pots were covered in thick black soot because the range that was delivered was formatted for natural gas instead of propane as we ordered! This black soot rubbed onto the new white counter tops and the inside of the sinks. Soon the sponges and scrub pads had black as well as my elbow, nose and knuckles!! It was like the Cat in the Hat with the pink, just couldn't get rid of it!
Date: 11/30/09 04:27 PM
This happened to me many years ago & I think about it every Thanksgiving. When I was a kid, my neighbor used to make the best apple pies. The crust would be high, & when you cut into it, the apples would have shrunk down. So, I was making my first apple pie & wanted it to come out just like hers. She told me to "pile up the apples". Well, I figured I'd make that pie really high, so I put in 3 bags of apples. I think they are about 3 lbs. each!!!!! Well, we went to my mother-in-law's for dinner & when it came time for dessert, my brother-in-law said "Uh...did you know you had to cut the apples before you put them in the pie?" The pie was so full of apples, it didn't cook all the way. I was so embarrased! He never let me forget it either! I just wish I could have put a crust around a whole pumpkin & then tell him, "This year I made a pumpkin pie!" I do make them much better now. :o)
Date: 11/30/09 02:06 PM
I remember as a kid I was making a candle from a kit. Melt the wax in an old coffee can, wrap the wick on a pencil, and let it cool. I lost the wick so I used a shoe lace. Just me and my sister were home, so when the flames started, I used water...duh! Crawling on my knees to my sisters room, she went to the cupboard, took out the baking soda, threw it on the flame, and said, "know you clean it up" and went back to her homework!!! There was a huge smoke pattern on the ceiling for years after. Never made another candle after that!!
Date: 11/30/09 12:36 PM
Newly married, we invited about 20 for Thanksgiving dinner. Into the oven when a HUGE turkey in one of those tinfoil roasting pans. Turkey cooks to a golden brown, dinner is ready and waiting for the turkey centerpiece. I start to take the bird from the oven and the foil pan totally collapses. The turkey shoots across the floor, and turkey fat and juice were everywhere! I screamed, bringing 20 faces to the kitchen door! Then I start to cross the floor to save the turkey and in my sock feet slip in the turkey fat, falling on my butt. We finally gathered up the turkey, mopped the floor and saved the day. I found that turkey fat makes a marvelous floor wax as that floor was slick as glass for months afterward. The turkey was delicious by the way. jcanyon
Date: 11/30/09 12:17 PM
Everyone is having so much fun that I thought I'd share my story too - this will not be included in the contest. I made strawberry cupcakes from scratch for a friend's birthday party - they turned out terrible. I'm not sure what happened, but my BF insisted I bring them to the party. I said, "no one will like them." He convinced me it was just in my head. The problem was that they looked cute so everyone at the party had to try them. Towards the end of the night, a woman leaned over to my boyfriend and said, "I have a secret. Those cupcakes are terrible!" He looked at her and said... "my girlfriend made them." I'm not sure who felt worse... her or me. I still cringe when I think of strawberry cupcakes.
Date: 11/30/09 12:00 PM
Ever since my husband died, sixteen years ago, my friend Carol has invited me to have Turkey day with her family. I love to cook and bake and am pretty good at it so I always take a large pretty bread which serves as centerpiece and sopping gravy. Several years ago, I made a beautiful Challah,(braided bread) and put it on the table to cool while I dressed. On returning to the kitchen, I discovered my little dog, Mr. T. had leaped on the table and eaten the middle out of my bread!!!. I called Carol, crying and told her the disaster. She said since it was such a large loaf, just cut it in half, trim the eaten edges and bring it on. I did and we promised never to tell. Well, I kept my promise until the Senior Center had a roast on her and called me for anything embarrasing about Carol. I gave her up in a heartbeat. This year I made a wonderful cranberry apple pie. Same scenario, different pet. Big cat, tall pepper mill on the table. Cat knocked over the pepper mill and broke the fantastic golden brown crust on the pie. We ate it anyway and I'm not going to tell a soul !!! Yeah, right.
Date: 11/30/09 11:53 AM
When I moved into my first apartment, I was so proud. I was most excited about using the oven, since I love to bake, and I couldn't wait for the warm cozy smell of baked goods to fill the kitchen. My plan was to make chocolate chip muffins, put them in the oven, take a quick shower, and emerge from the shower with perfectly baked muffins waiting for me. Everything went as planned until I noticed the smell of smoke and burnt sugar. I flew out of the bathroom and ran to to the kitchen. When I flung the oven door open, my mouth fell open too. I saw twelve little flames where my muffins should have been. I blew the flames out one by one, like they were candles on the most pathetic birthday cake ever. Apparently, my "new" oven only had one temperature--hot like hell on the top, and cold like the arctic on the bottom. That's right, the muffins were runny and gooey on the underneath the charred crackling mess. Not exactly the experience I was looking for.
Date: 11/30/09 11:29 AM
I had just finished college and moved to Northern California for a job. Invited my Aunt,Uncle and cousins from LA to come up for Thanksgiving. Everything was just about ready,when one of my cousins called and said his car had broken down on the highway not too far from me. My Aunt and I went to pick him up leaving instructions ( clear and precise!) for my Uncle ( a doctor!!) to put the sweet potato casserole in the oven at a certain time. We returned to find all was well and we sat down to eat. As we were eating, everybody noticed a "crunch" to the sweet potato casserole. After some inquiry we discovered that the "learned " doctor had indeed put the casserole in the oven, but had neglected to remove the plastic wrap before! Crunchy casserole!!
Date: 11/30/09 11:20 AM
I made a delicious recipe for crab casserole. Although I only get the crab when it's on sale, it's still an expensive dish to make. I grabbed the Pyrex out of the oven, and...umm... dropped it. On the floor. Upside down. We ate crab casserole (that HADN'T touched the floor, that is) off the floor.
Date: 11/30/09 11:17 AM
One day I was cooking chicken soup in my glass cooking pot. My daughter and I were talking and we decided to go and see a movie at a new shopping center. So we ran out of the house and went to the movies. When we got back and went to put the key in the door the door was broken into we thought oh my we were robbed. The place was a mess with black soot all over the place. It turns out that we left the burner on and there was smoke. lots of smoke. The fire trucks were called in and they broke down the door. Nothing burned but what was in the pot. Latter that after noon we found the pot outside on the side walk and there was burn crust at the bottom. So what I learned from this was make sure when you go the movies make sure that you turn off what your cooking or else you could burn down the house. We are very lucky.... We can laugh about it now....
Date: 11/29/09 11:39 AM
Hi Guys! If you're wondering where to post your worst kitchen nightmare story.. it's here! :) Good luck!

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