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Once again this holiday, I have had requests for my tequila christmas cake so here goes: Please keep in your files as I am getting tired of typing this up every year!


  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 tsp. baking powder
  • 1 cup water
  • 1 tsp. salt
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • Lemon juice
  • 4 large eggs
  • Nuts
  • 1 bottle tequila
  • 2 cups dried fruit


  • Sample the tequila to check quality.
  • Take a large bowl, check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
  • Repeat.
  • Turn on the electric mixer.
  • Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar.
  • Beat again.
  • At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK.
  • Try another cup just in case.
  • Turn off the mixerer thingy.
  • Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck iin the cup of dried fruit.
  • Pick the fruit up off the floor.
  • Mix on the turner.
  • If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
  • Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity.
  • Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.
  • Check the tequila.
  • Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
  • Add one table.
  • Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
  • Greash the oven.
  • Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
  • Don't forget to beat off the turner
  • Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
  • Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.
  • Cherry Christmas

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